[DAI spoilers] Elven Might June 18th, 2018, 12:41 am
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Artist's rendition of How Things Got Messed Up.

I would also like to take this moment and recommend that everyone have a jarkey at home. Those things are amazing and you will never again have to swallow your pride and beg someone else to help you open a jar, no matter how noodly your arms. Trust me. I have the noodliest arms.

Posted @ February 10th, 2018, 3:17 pm

Posted @ November 18th, 2019, 3:05 am

Reader Comments:

Well... since he's a true elf and thus has a long lifespan, couldn't he just have, you know, waited till he had grown stronger?
Had he some patience, the whole ordeal with the breach, the Inquisition and Corypheus could have been avoided.

Posted @ June 18th, 2018, 12:55 am

@Deonis: that might have taken centuries, he cannot wait that long while (in his mind) his people suffer. not to mention that with the veil it's likely he can't live forever either and will have to enter uthenera to survive, which kinda defeats the purpose. and regardless, he belived corypheus won't survive, i doubt he'd let him find the orb if he knew what corypheus was capable of.

Posted @ June 18th, 2018, 3:48 am

so the orb was just an ancient elven pickle jar? that's explains why everything was green...

Posted @ June 18th, 2018, 3:51 am

I suddenly want a key-chain of chibi(ish) Corypheus...

Posted @ June 18th, 2018, 10:13 am

When you put the story that way it somehow loses all of its luster...strange.

Yeah, but you forgot the fact that he's a giant, racist a-hole who doesn't care. (there might be a small personal bias here XD)

Posted @ June 18th, 2018, 11:07 am

re: Jarkey

@zenat: Unless you forget that you have a device for opening jars with your noodly arms. But then again, if your memory is bad enough, you won't remember having to swallow your pride, so it's like it never happened. :D

Posted @ June 19th, 2018, 11:45 am

@Deonis: He could, but considering how noodly your average elf's arms are, I think they might just have a real hard time buffing up. And he's got more important things to do than pushups - he's got a world to rui- a people to save. Surely nothing bad can come out of this.

@Blazypika2: I am glad I can answer all the difficult Dragon Age questions.

@mahigan: If society6 provided key-chain options I'd give it a go, but alas I don't think they offer that. Probably for the best. Everything he opened would probably unleash unspeakable horror, or some such.

@Sharp-Claw: There is also the alternative version that Dragon Age Inquisition is the story of a dog and his ball. I like that one too.

@Ardnax: Hahaha oh no. These days I only ever give a half-hearted attempt at opening jars, and if they don't open, welp, jarkey, your time to shine has come!

Posted @ June 22nd, 2018, 6:31 am

@zenat: I use back of a tea spoon to lever the lid. Works pretty well most of the time. It just has to have right shape.

Posted @ June 24th, 2018, 2:18 pm

@zenat: can't wait to hear your take on the titans =P

Posted @ June 25th, 2018, 10:26 am

@m_celeri: Tea spoons are good, but I found that it's sometimes difficult to get a proper hold with them. Jar keys have no such issues. Jar keys, I tell you. Amazing.

@Blazypika2: I will freely admit that I keep forgetting 80% of what happens below the surface of Thedas. It is shameful. But I shall take that into consideration ;)

Posted @ July 12th, 2018, 1:44 pm

So THAT'S how it happened

Well there's a patch Bioware needed to give us.


Posted @ November 27th, 2018, 12:36 pm

@DarkBlood: Maybe we'll get the full picture in DA4?

Posted @ December 7th, 2018, 4:32 pm