A Real Hero June 30th, 2014, 12:23 am
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Dragon Age Origins had statistics where you could see how many humans, darkspawn, etc you had killed. The number of humans I had killed were as good as always greater than the number of darkspawn. Essentially, my Wardens would have done Thedas a greater service if they set those humans out to fight the darkspawn, even if they only killed one each before dying.
Hawke and the crew... fight even less darkspawn. Frankly, they're likely the most prolific band of serial killers that Kirkwall has seen since the days under Tevinter rule.

Posted @ June 28th, 2014, 4:27 pm

Posted @ April 27th, 2017, 9:51 am

Reader Comments:

I'm sure if they let us kill children in the game we all would. Especially if they're like the kids in Skyrim.

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 1:13 am


Yes! You know, it's been driving me crazy seeing so many people complain that Cole is a killer for this very reason. All the killing.

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 1:32 am


Firstly: This reminds me of that time my mother was in the room for the conversation with Kolgrim in which he mentions slaughtering their young. It was awkward.
Secondly: Your comment about DAO gets even scarier when you consider that most of the people you were killing were so that you could tell other people to go fight the darkspwan).
Thirdy: I doubt the accuracy of your kill counts but I'm sure no-one wants to actually consider the proportions.

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 2:28 am


@zenat: I love how people are bitching in the Bioware forums about Cole being a serial killer when he's killed a total of like ten-fifteen people at most, and six of those were actually part of his serial killing spree. (His victims being mages that wanted to die rather than be executed/turned tranquil anyway, for the record) People are all "Oh he's a evil murdering demon!" when I'm positive that even my kindest, most moral Warden from Origins/Awakening has her human kill count in the thousands.

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 7:46 am


@TheGYouLoveToHate: I certainly would. I damn well tried in Neverwinter Nights (they are immortal and will kill you slowly with their weak attacks).

@Punchysporkk: I've actually completely missed that, but I've also avoided a lot of the discussions to be as spoiler free as I can (completely spoiler free is just not happening).

@Meeszy Alexy: Considering that main characters in all games where violence is the main form of interacting with the game are horrific serial killers with ease... well, I think it's easy to forget that when you're the one playing them.

@Norgrath: I'd rather have my mother walking in on characters talking about killing children than, you know, the awkward sex scenes.
I admit I fudged the numbers. And you made me curious so just for you, I opened up DAO and dug up the genuine statistics I had for that.

Tabris rogue killed 663 creatures total, party kills ranking up to 2379. (Demons and undead: 256, Fantastic creatures: 47, Golems: 27, People: 733, Darkspawn: 830, Bosses: 41, Dragonkin: 34, Corrupt animals: 53, Vermin: 143, Dangerous animals: 97)
Cousland warrior got to do a few more DLCs, and managed to off 1042 creatures, party killing 3148 (Demons and undead: 312, Fantastic creatures: 93, Golems: 40, People: 937, Darkspawn: 1106, Bosses: 57, Dragonkin: 58, Corrupt animals: 94 Vermin: 178, Dangerous animals: 115)
So... definitely teams of horrific serial killers. Heroic accomplishments indeed.

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 8:23 am


@zenat: Yeah, I stopped playing whenever my parents were home and a sex scene was coming up. What I meant about the proportions is I can't imagine mechanics wise Merill, for instance, getting more kills than Fenris (or Hawke getting less kills than two other party members added together).

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 3:23 pm


@Norgrath: Ahh I see. Well, I think the Merrill vs Fenris might work out if you don't bring Fenris along a whole lot. Though my mages tend to do the most killing (Morrigan, my queen of destruction, how I love thee)

Posted @ June 30th, 2014, 4:28 pm


@zenat: I suppose one way of excusing it is while Fenris is more kill-happy, Merrill has powerful area-of-effect spells that can take out tons of enemies at once.

Posted @ July 2nd, 2014, 10:22 am


Not really serial killers

Just putting it out there:
Serial killers murder people while Hawk and the warden kill them in a straight up, though not fair, fight, and it's almost always they who attack Hawk/the Warden.
I know this is more or less just a humorous punch line, but killing a soldier who attacks you and murdering an innocent bystander are two very different things.

P.S. Great comic btw, and sorry that my first comment was a rant.

Posted @ July 2nd, 2014, 2:58 pm


@Ace@Hart: Hawke and the team are not soldiers. They are, at best, hitmen with a hint of Dexter. They kill people (who are not necessarily soldiers either) because they get attacked, or because they barge into said people's homes and get attacked, or are asked to go and attack said people, or what have you. Besides, killing people is also way over the top - subduing should be an option - and then they constantly proceed to loot the corpses? I'm by no means an expert, but I expect that sort of behavior is frowned upon among real life soldiers.
It really boils down to the fact that they kill people because the game mechanics are limited to violence for the most part, as sadly most games are. And then we are asked to sort of look the other way on that, while being outraged when NPCs murder someone. Which is kind of funny.
Don't worry about being ranty. Rant is what we do best :)

Posted @ July 2nd, 2014, 5:51 pm


@Punchysporkk: Oh, it gets better. In Inquisition, you get to recruit him to do your killing for you.

Posted @ July 3rd, 2014, 3:09 am


@zenat: alright, fair point, subduing should be an option, but I still say that at worst Hawk is a vigilante with questionable morrals, as most of your enemies had it comming. And per definition murder is: "the unlawful killing, with malice aforethought, of another human." That is to say: planed in advance and done with as you say in Sweden: onda åsikter.
I don't see Hawk having that.
As for looting beeing frowned upon by real soldiers, I'm no expert either, but here's what wikipedia says about war looting:

Looting by a victorious army during war has been common practice throughout recorded history. For foot soldiers, it was viewed as a way to supplement their often meagre income[5] and was part of the celebration of victory. On higher levels, the proud exhibition of loot was an integral part of the typical Roman triumph, and Genghis Khan was not unusual in proclaiming that the greatest happiness was "to vanquish your enemies... to rob them of their wealth..."[6]

I still agree with your sentiment and I still find the comic funny, and I'm really not trying to star an argument, I just want us all to have our facts straight.

Lastly, all rants aside, I love Fenris' expression in the third panel.

Posted @ July 3rd, 2014, 10:38 am


@zenat: Huh... Y'know, when you put it like that, it's almost as if Hawke's group is worse than the Blight.

Posted @ July 3rd, 2014, 2:12 pm


@Ace@Hart: Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree then :) (I think you mean 'avsikter', intentions, not 'åsikter', which is opinions)

Posted @ July 4th, 2014, 3:07 pm


@zenat I can live with that.
And, how stupid of me, of course you're right, I did mean avsikter. :)

Posted @ July 5th, 2014, 10:16 am


The killingspree you usually have in these games does make for awkward conversation with the victims. I'm reminded of the way you can be a bloodmage and at the same time condemn others for using it... ;)

Posted @ July 8th, 2014, 11:19 am