Attack of the Douchecan December 30th, 2013, 12:37 am
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Author Comments:

Duncan, I get that you need to recruit wardens and all, but I've just had the worst wedding day ever and this is NOT the time to pull this shit on me. Ugh.

Posted @ December 28th, 2013, 10:23 am

Posted @ April 27th, 2017, 9:46 am

Reader Comments:

Douchecan has a very EA expression to him.

Posted @ December 30th, 2013, 1:37 am


Use EVERY oppertunity to fill the ranks with fodd- I mean able-bodied people.

Posted @ December 30th, 2013, 3:21 am


6 million ways to die, choose one.

Posted @ December 30th, 2013, 3:41 am


Sure.

So he would have let the poor elven girl die after all of that? And Alistair still goes all "Waaaaah, he was a good man, I should have died instead, waaah." If I didn't usually try to bonk him, I'd have shown him what for.

Posted @ December 30th, 2013, 7:01 am


I think you're being kind of harsh to him. He wouldn't let her die at hteir hands, but neither would he get involved into the politics
That's how Grey Wardens work

Posted @ December 30th, 2013, 1:24 pm


Duncan could actually be psychologically traumatized from his forced indoctrination of wardens, but so desperate for help against the blight that he stops at nothing to get the job done. Renegade Duncan!

on the other hand that's not nearly so funny as dousche duncan

Posted @ December 30th, 2013, 11:37 pm


@Deonis: Well, he's got a job to do. Someone has to find be at the right place at the right time and get the hero on their way.

@TheGYouLoveToHate: One of the non-violent ones are probably preferable?

@byarru: I think the problem occurs when your character doesn't want to become a warden in the first place. You're usually left between unpleasant violent death or joining the wardens, and more than one of the scenarios begs the question why Duncan can't just be decent and help out because he's a nice person.
As for not getting involved with politics... I wish someone would tell the dwarves that :I

@StilleNacht: Oh certainly. I understand perfectly well why Duncan uses every opportunity to recruit people who seem like they could fit in the wardens. I just think he's not very nice about it, when you really consider the situations. But he doesn't have to be either. Renegade Duncan indeed!

Posted @ December 31st, 2013, 5:31 am


Is it weird that I always read Douchecan and think "Douche-chan" (I'm not Japanese).

Posted @ January 5th, 2014, 10:27 pm


I think I get why Alistair was so upset over Duncan's death, it's because if it wasn't for Duncan, then Alistair would have a life of addiction to Lyrium.

Posted @ January 6th, 2014, 10:53 am