Dating tips with Commander Shepard May 7th, 2012, 2:25 am
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Author Comments:

Shepard, I may be a socially awkward penguin but even I can see that some of your moves are, uh, not optimal.

Shepard and dating. It can quickly get really, really awkward. Especially when the dialogue wheel doesn't tell you what, or even how, you are really going to say. Either you wish to say that you are good friends (Kaidan) and Shepard suddenly goes all Lannister twins on you, or you merely want to get to know Jacob and oh dear lord, the voice actress is really flirting, it didn't say it was flirting, I don't want to flirt, what do I do?! D: Made even more awkward by the fact that Mass Effect makes me want to be 100% faithful to Garrus so... yeah. Awkward XD

The Garrus thing you can choose at least, and thank god for that. The idea of losing on purpose to feed my boyfriend's ego is unacceptable (to be fair, Garrus doesn't have a hissy fit if he doesn't win).
Also, a pretend loss is insulting.

Posted @ March 24th, 2012, 1:44 pm

Posted @ August 18th, 2017, 5:03 pm

Reader Comments:

I tried so hard to get into Vega's pants. So what if he's cradle snatching. That cradle holds a mighty fine arse.

Posted @ May 7th, 2012, 4:52 am


Oh yes, Fem!Shep with well thought out, non-flirty dialogue. We have dismissed this claim. Seriously, as a lesbian I am offended at times by the fact my character either has to flirt her head off with the male character or go full-on Renegade. I killed Jacob in ME2 just because I was so pissed at having to flirt with him to get my full Paragon points.

Posted @ May 7th, 2012, 11:04 am


I pretty much ignored Jacob through most of my ME2 play-throughs, partly because I couldn't be bothered with getting to know him (Blandy McBlanderson...) and partly because Paragon shep turns into a sexual predator as soon as she's alone in a room with him.
Besides, the most efficient way to go from the briefing room to the galaxy map is through the tech lab anyway, because I usually have upgrades to check on after missions.

Posted @ May 7th, 2012, 2:23 pm


hahahaha XD true. It got to the point where I just stopped trying to talk to Jacob.
I never miss on purpose with Garrus, though, because yeah, I have my pride XD

Posted @ May 7th, 2012, 2:47 pm


Heh, heh :D At first I was like "No way I'm gonna play a loser even for Garrus..." It's even worse because it feels like lying :(
But then I realised that my Shepard was an adept and she couldn't handle Sniper rifles at all XD
So seems legit to me :3

Posted @ May 7th, 2012, 4:06 pm


@byarru: It always disappointed me that Shepard's class didn't affect her abilities outside of combat. In cutscenes, she's always shown with the same weapons, never uses biotics or tech powers (even though in some situations it would've made perfect sense for her to do so) and if she is a biotic, it only pops up in a few conversations. Pretty much all of them in ME1.

Posted @ May 7th, 2012, 4:17 pm


@twixtnightandmorn: I know what you mean. I wanted to be faithful to Garrus and suddenly Shepard is... flirting with Jacob? Vega too? And...? What? What?!

@byarru: I would have been perfectly fine missing, if the game had calibrated (heh) my stats and concluded that I'm a shitty aimer (which I am). Choosing to fail just ruffled my feathers. RAWR! I am Commander Shepard and I DO NOT LOSE D<

@Lynneiah: I play vanguard and love it, but I am sort of at a loss why oh why Shepard never uses charge in cutscenes where making it from point A to point B as fast as possible is of utmost importance. Aside from programming and whatnot, I mean.

Posted @ May 8th, 2012, 6:45 am


@zenat: You know, that charge ability would've come in real handy at the end of the suicide mission in ME2. You know, the one where you jump the chasm and *barely* manage to hang on to the ship?
The one where you *die* if all of your squad mates are dead? Yeah, there.
Hell, it doesn't even have to be charge. Just levitate yourself or something...

Posted @ May 8th, 2012, 7:18 am


Oh, flirting with Vega :D
I love Garrus but flirting with Vega...
Awwww <3<3<3<3<3<3
He is so adorable

Posted @ May 8th, 2012, 11:44 am


@Lynneiah: Haha yes, it's of the many comic ideas I've got written down XD

@byarru: I'm sure he is if you appreciate the flirting. If you don't, you can't tell him to cut it out, and instead I ended up feeling sexually harrassed and mighty annoyed. Vega got the Miranda treatment - no missions for you, ever. Which meant that I missed out on his character and the banter and whatnot, but... they really should have let me tell him to cut it out :I

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 4:04 am


@zenat: I may be wrong, but I do believe that if you tell him to drop the Lola business after your sparring session, he doesn't flirt anymore.
However, I only did that on my first playthrough, where I was pretty Renegade, so that might have had an influence as well...

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 7:26 am


@Lynneiah: Nope. He stops calling you Lola, but he continues with the flirting. Much to my annoyance. My Renegade FemShep had to put up with a lot of shit that she shouldn't have had to there.

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 7:54 am


@zenat: I might have also simply not taken him along. >.>
For some reason, new characters don't interest me as much as the oldies, and ME3 was oldies-central in that case. :P

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 8:02 am


@Lynneiah: Haha, I know. Garrus never left my side (this has been the deal since ME1), Kaidan got to come along briefy in the hopes of Team Awkward being funny. They weren't. Kaidan got grounded. Thus EDI and Tali got to take turns coming out to play. Except when Liara forced herself on the team -.-

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 8:35 am


@zenat: Liara's been my Vanguard's LI ever since the first, so she let her come out and play every now and again. Beyond that, Garrus was pretty much a mainstay as Shep's best buddy. Others got rotated out, with priority going to Ashley and Tali. :P

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 8:47 am


I love Garrus, he never left my team all throughout ME1,2,3. Usually my team consisted of Garrus+Wrex, Garrus+Liara, Garrus+Tali, Garrus+Mordin or Garrus+Jack. It was only fitting for my femshep to enter a relationship with him since he was there on my team when I defeated Saren and stopped the collectors. As for Jacob, I typically avoided him since talking to him made my femshep sound like a creep or something when I tried to get paragon points out of talking to him, he was a bit of an asshole in my opinion :\. It would be nice if there was an option to get paragon points while not flirting with the other characters... As for Vega, I kinda like him, he reminds me of some of the Marines my bro works with as weird as that sounds.

Posted @ May 9th, 2012, 8:56 am


@twixtnightandmorn: This is why you ignore paragon and renagade points and just roleplay. Also: you killed someone for annoying you AS A PARAGON?!
EDIT: On second thought paragon/rengade points aren't the issue here. But I stand by my second statement.

Posted @ May 10th, 2012, 1:44 am


Garrus' expression in the last pannel cracked me up. It was strange when my adept and vanguard who had never shot with the sniper rifle could have hit the bottle. In any case I love these comics and can't wait for the next update.

Posted @ May 12th, 2012, 5:55 am