Kirkwall Conquests December 5th, 2011, 1:33 am
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Author Comments:

I, uh, play ho!Hawke. I have a checklist. It usually involves every single romancable character in the game the first time around. Gotta catch 'em all and all of that.

... only one exception: Mass Effect 2. No one can compete with Garrus, not even you Thane.

Posted @ November 14th, 2011, 7:35 pm

Posted @ November 18th, 2019, 3:32 am

Reader Comments:

Your ho!Hawke went with Danarius _and_ Fenris? Isabela _and_ Castillon?

Isabela should know better to not go with Gamlen. Charade is fine, but Gamlen? Ick.

Edit: Reading it again, I'm just like "And yet, still no Cullen. ;A;... XENON? D:" when reading Hawke's list. XD

Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 2:46 am


My reaction while reading Isabelas list:

oh lol Sandal

Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 6:56 am

@MeeszyAlexy: Why of course! Gotta catch 'em all! Also, no, Cullen is determined in keeping his armor on, Arishok too TT_TT

@RandomComment: All is fair in love and war... and the quest to be the biggest ho of Kirkwall XD

Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 11:08 am

Sandal: the biggest pimp of them all.


Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 12:47 pm

@Inxerene: What is it that he's enchanting again?...

Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 2:49 pm

No Merrill? Did they decide she was taboo or something?

Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 3:04 pm

I'd imagine that sex with Danarius made things awkward with Fenris for a while.

Posted @ December 5th, 2011, 3:11 pm

@Norgrath: You can't just use and throw away Merrill like that, no matter the low standards of the competition :O

@Guest: Only if he found out. Which he probably did XD

Posted @ December 6th, 2011, 3:10 am

Elthina? Does that make her very, very good, or very, very bad?

Posted @ December 6th, 2011, 12:04 pm

The shred of innocence that I had, was totally destroyed... Not by the comic itself, but by the comments. Damn you. Damn you all.


Posted @ December 6th, 2011, 6:40 pm


I wish you could romance that many characters... I would have totally been ho!hawke. XD

Posted @ December 7th, 2011, 9:51 am

Where's Lady Elegant...I would have done her...Mhm..
And for some reason, I have a major crush on Thrask.

Posted @ December 17th, 2011, 4:12 pm

Where to begin...

"Let's see...did her, did her...did him twice...haven't done him. Ugh! Who hasn't done him?" *laughs* Sorry, too easy. But you got me there with Mass Effect 2. No one can compete with Garrus...that's why I abandoned Alenko! So much reach and I feel a need to play.

Posted @ December 21st, 2011, 10:18 am

some of those names...i really dont wanna know....

but thankfully my mage wasnt pretty damn sure he wouldnt be able to take that much expieranced hawk and isabella without collapsing...

Posted @ January 22nd, 2012, 5:47 am

Garrus is pretty awesome when he isn't you know, in the middle of those triangle damned calibrations which is most of the time.

Posted @ February 4th, 2012, 11:11 am

I love the fact neither one has conquered Cullen. I think the man may be harder to get in bed then Sebastian (had a mental image of Sebastian taking notes from Cullen)...

Posted @ March 4th, 2012, 8:55 pm

@Outtamymind381: Haha, he probably would if he knew the amount of frustration that Cullen is the source of. Cullen and the Arishok - the untouchables XD

Posted @ March 5th, 2012, 4:56 am